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Queen of Odd Jobs

To kick off this blog, I guess I should tell you what brought me to LA. I was living in Portland, OR, working in a salon as a hair stylist and modeling on the side. I quickly realized how easy it is to just settle into a routine. I was 20 and when I looked around at the people who were older than me, they didn’t seem happy with their lives. It seemed  to me like they had just become complacent and allowed life to happen to them. Just as I suddenly felt I wanted more, I read about Shannyn Sossamon and was inspired by her story. During that summer, I contemplated moving and leaving behind the life that I knew. A John Burroughs quote burned in my mind: “Leap, and the net will appear.” So, I leapt. I’m not sure if the net really appeared or if I hit the side of the canyon and bounced several times on the way down. But, hey, it didn’t hurt too much. Bruised is better than beaten.

Like a lot of people, I was promised things in LA that didn’t happen. A lot of over-promising and under-delivering. I also quickly learned that there is no overnight success. Because of this, I had to find a way to piece together enough money to stay. At first, I had planned to work in a Salon, but I either had to pay money to retest for a CA license or I could wait a year and then transfer my Oregon license. I decided to wait a year and work other jobs because I needed more flexibility to do the things I wanted to do. Working in a salon is a career that doesn’t offer much flexibility, so this is how I became the queen of odd jobs. Sure, I’ve had some triumphs along the way. I have booked some well-paying modeling jobs and a national car commercial that practically supported me for a year. I had one of my songs placed in a TV show on  CW. I’ve become SAG eligible and have gained some IMDB credits. I also put a band together and recorded a 5-track EP. More on this later.

It takes a lot to stay afloat in LA. I like to be busy and I have ADD so over the years I have slowly accumulated a number of odd jobs. A lot of these jobs aren’t normal. Some of them are hilarious and some are just weird. One week, when I had a string of odd jobs, I jokingly referred to myself as the Queen of Odd Jobs and it stuck. Just to give you a taste, here are some of the jobs I’ve had:

  • I was Stella, the fairy of the Shining Sun. “Wtf” you say? Allow me to explain. I was hired to dress as a fictional character from a cartoon called “Winx.” The show is pretty popular in Italy and they were bringing it to America. Basically, some other girls and I were hired to stand around and have our pictures taken with the guests. In order to be convincing as Stella, I had to memorize her magic powers and backstory in case somebody asked. Thankfully no one did, probably because I was so convincing. 😉 

Stella

  • I’ve been hired to bartend at events at a mansion where it is reputed little rabbits dwell and ample bosom exposure is required. I had the pleasure of wearing an “ultra conservative” bustier and fishnets while pouring adult beverages.  One of these events was promoting a 3D book about those ample bosoms I mentioned. Yes, there were 3D glasses included.
  • At a Christmas party for a wealthy woman, I was hired to dress as sexy Santa and serve her guests hors d’oeuvres. Outside. In 42 degree weather. At the end of the night, with my nose running and my hands shaking, eager to collect my money and make a break for freedom, three of the guests who felt too impaired to drive approached me and asked if I would drive them home. The head bartender assured me this was a good gig that would snag me a fat tip. After they handed me their keys, we walked to their car where I opened the backdoor and seated the guests. “Have you ever driven a Bentley?” one man asked. “No, sir” I replied as I thought about  my beat-up 2001 Toyota Prius. I’m happy to report that I didn’t damage the Bentley. I was even complimented for driving “very straight” and staying between the lines, which didn’t seem that exceptional to me.

Lia-Santa-v3

  • Among the other jobs that I’ve had are: greeting passengers at a helicopter launch pad, serving food to a Jewish Fraternity, serving food at a Nigerian wedding, serving food at Priest’s birthday party, babysitting, walking dogs, retail, researching music supervisors and air dates for upcoming TV shows, running errands for a successful musician, etc.

These are just examples of some of the bizarre jobs I’ve worked. Some of the more interesting jobs aren’t even listed here. I’ll probably be writing more posts about the Queen of the Odd Jobs soon.

Actually, one of the oddest things I’ve come across in LA isn’t a job at all, but rather finding a new passion and direction in life. This is a topic for the next post.

To be continued!